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Why You Should Master The #1 Hostage Negotiation Skill

Joerg Kuehn · Sep 29, 2021 · Leave a Comment

Chris Voss had been with the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force for several years when he became intrigued by the idea of becoming a hostage negotiator. To try his luck, he went to Amy Bonderow, who ran the FBI’s crisis negotiation team in New York at that time.

“I want to be a hostage negotiator,” Voss said.

Amy replied “Well, everyone does. Do you have any training, experience, credentials or a degree in Psychology/Sociology?”

Chris had none of it, but did not give up: “Come on, there must be something I can do?”

How to breakout of the drama-triangle?

Joerg Kuehn · Aug 25, 2021 · 6 Comments

Nearly 10 years ago, while I was still working at P&G, I faced my biggest professional crisis. It made me think and do the impossible. I called in sick, despite being perfectly well physically.

What had happened? I’d become caught in a drama triangle, complete with a persecutor, rescuer, and victim. More on all that in a moment, but first … back to the story.

What are you most looking forward to?

Joerg Kuehn · Jan 26, 2021 · Leave a Comment

On the 5th of December 1914, Ernest Shackleton, together with 27 brave men, left South Georgia in the Southern Atlantic Ocean on a ship with the telling name Endurance.

Their goal was to become the first to cross the Antarctic continent by foot… a gruelling 1,800 miles (2,900 km) journey.

But weather conditions were terrible, and on the 19th of January 1915, the Endurance became frozen in an ice floe, turning Shackleton’s mission of exploration into a mission of desperate survival.

After drifting north in an icy lockdown for 9 long months, the violent movements associated with the breaking of the ice exerted extreme pressures on the ship.

On the 24th of October 1915, water began pouring in, leaving Shackleton no choice but to abandon the Endurance. For another 7 long and freezing months, with temperatures around minus 30 Degree Celsius, the crew camped on large ice floes, hoping to be carried to mainland.

But on the 9th of April, 1916, their ice floe broke into two and Shackleton ordered the crew into the three lifeboats in a desperate attempt to reach the nearest land. After five harrowing days at sea, the exhausted men landed at Elephant Island, a deserted place far from any shipping routes, giving the men a low chance of rescue by means of discovery. But for the first time in more than 16 months spent in brutal icy lockdowns, they had solid ground under their feet. It must have felt good.

Yet they we far from safe, and so one of the lifeboats was launched on the 24th of April 1916, with Shackleton and another 5 sailors in an attempt to reach the South Georgia whaling station…830 miles (1,330km) away!

The small life boat sailed through the stormy waters of the southern ocean in constant peril of capsizing.

Could this trick help us through the tough winter ahead?

Joerg Kuehn · Oct 28, 2020 · Leave a Comment

It was a lovely evening on 25th May 2005 in Istanbul. One hour before the Champions League Final between AC Milan and Liverpool FC, coach Rafa Benitez, began to share the line-up for the Liverpool team.

After hearing the seventh name, Didi Hamann realised that he was not in the squad for the probably most important game of his career. Later in his bestselling book, The Didi-Man – My Love Affair with Liverpool, he would describe that moment as follows: “My stomach churned. I did not hear anymore after that. I was on the bench. It hit me like a hammer blow.”

Hamann continues: “I have to thank my previous coach, Gerard Houllier, for how I was able to deal with it. Gerard used to say: ’If you are not selected for the game, you have 2 minutes to get over your disappointment. Then you get your head up, as if you were going to play and prepare yourself!’”

The game starts with Hamann on the bench. And what a game it was. AC Milan totally outclassed Liverpool and seemed to be able to score at their leisure. Not even one minute was played when it was 1-0 for the Italians. Playing like they were “from a different star,” they added another 2 goals to make it 3—0 when the half time whistle blew.

Everyone thought, “That’s it. Game over.

Can this remarkable approach help us in the current crisis?

Joerg Kuehn · Jul 29, 2020 · Leave a Comment

Joe Simpson (25) & Simon Yates (21) went to Peru in 1985 aiming to do something never done before … climb the West face of a 6,200m mountain known as Siula Grande, high up in the Peruvian Andes.

The two Brits were planning to do it in what mountaineers call ‘alpine style,” which means carrying all their equipment, food and sleeping kits with them. But climbing in this way meant they did not set up ropes and clear routes they could use to get back down in a hurry if needed.

They reached the peak after 2.5 days and things looked to be on track, but on the way down everything would change dramatically.

Joe slipped, fell, and broke his right leg in a very bad way, crushing his tibia into his knee joint. They were still at high altitude with no chance to call for help. Nobody even knew where they were!

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