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6 magical “resilience-hacks” when life puts you down 1-0

Joerg Kuehn · Jul 28, 2021 · Leave a Comment

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It was the highly anticipated 2020 European Championship semi-final between England and Denmark, where 60,000 mainly English fans were hoping their team could make some history by reaching a final of a major tournament for the first time in 55 long years.

In the 30^th minute, the Danish player, Mikkel Damsgaard, put the ball down for a free kick 25 yards outside the English goal. He took a final look at the goal and smashed the ball into the back of the net. Denmark 1 – England 0.

The “perfect heart” for a life well lived

Joerg Kuehn · Jun 23, 2021 · 2 Comments

June1 1024x576 - The “perfect heart” for a life well lived

A good friend of mine (Thanks a lot Emma!) recently shared a wonderful story with me, which I immediately felt compelled to “steal” and share it with you:

“One day, a young man walked into the village square and declared he had the most perfect heart in the whole valley. A crowd gathered around him and all admired his heart, because it was, indeed, perfect. No stains, no defects. Yes, they agreed, it was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was proud and boasted even more about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared from the crowd and said, ‘Listen, your heart is half as beautiful as mine.’

What is done is finished – “Feierabend”

Joerg Kuehn · May 27, 2021 · Leave a Comment

may1 1024x683 - What is done is finished - “Feierabend”

My favourite Buddhist monk and comedian, Ajahn Brahm, once told the story of a fellow monk, who was overlooking the building of a new hall in his monastery in southern Thailand. The work progressed very well until the beginning of June. That’s when the rainy season sets in, usually lasting until October. During this time, the monks stop doing their regular work and spend more time in contemplative study and meditation. It’s often referred to as “Buddhist lent” or “rain-retreat.”

As the daily monsoon downpours began, the abbot ordered a stop to the work on the construction site and sent all the workers home.

It happened that during that rainy season some visitors came to the monastery and saw the unfinished building and the abbot sitting quietly in reflection. With no builders in sight, a visitor asked the monk when the construction of the hall would be finished. The abbot without any hesitation answered, “The Hall is Finished!”

How are you really doing?

Joerg Kuehn · Apr 28, 2021 · 1 Comment

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20 year old Jonny Benjamin was not well. He had been diagnosed with a mental illness which caused him to slide into a severe depression, and, on a cold January morning in 2008, he decided to end his life. Dressed only in a T-Shirt, he walked up to Waterloo bridge in London, stepped over the railing, and was ready to go.

But all of a sudden, a stranger came up and started talking to him: “Hi mate, can you tell me why you’re sitting on the bridge?” Gloomily and hopelessly, Jonny replied he was going to take his own life. But the stranger would not let go and kept talking to him. “Please don’t do this mate. Please don’t do this. Let’s just go for a coffee. Let’s just talk it over.” The stranger kept talking to Jonny in tones full of compassion, kindness, and genuine concern.

How to break through your glass-ceiling

Joerg Kuehn · Mar 31, 2021 · Leave a Comment

mar1 1024x576 - How to break through your glass-ceiling

My initial plan was to write about the late Sir Roger Bannister, who many of you may know because of his remarkable achievement in breaking the seemingly impossible 4-minute-barrier for a 1-Mile-Run on 6th of May 1954.

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For many years, runners had tried to achieve that in vain, but after Bannister did it, several other runners were able to quickly follow, because the “invincible (psychological) barrier” had been broken.

While an article in the science of running somewhat debunks Bannister’s myth, I strongly believe that in real life we all struggle with this kind of “glass-ceilings” from time-to-time. I want to take a moment here to share my own recent “psychological barrier”, since it might provide you some-food-for-thought on how to break through your own glass ceilings.

As part of my studies with the UK National College for Hypnosis and Psychotherapy, in mid-February, I attended a course on how to support clients struggling with PTSD and traumatic experiences. Up until the time I took this course, I had studied for two years and had definitely learned new knowledge, tools and therapeutic approaches. But, if I am being honest, I had not yet felt the internal conviction and confidence to truly put all this psychotherapeutic knowhow to work and make a real difference in my clients lives.

This course changed this and broke my glass ceiling.

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