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Why You Should Master The #1 Hostage Negotiation Skill

Joerg Kuehn · Sep 29, 2021 · Leave a Comment

Chris Voss had been with the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force for several years when he became intrigued by the idea of becoming a hostage negotiator. To try his luck, he went to Amy Bonderow, who ran the FBI’s crisis negotiation team in New York at that time.

“I want to be a hostage negotiator,” Voss said.

Amy replied “Well, everyone does. Do you have any training, experience, credentials or a degree in Psychology/Sociology?”

Chris had none of it, but did not give up: “Come on, there must be something I can do?”

How to breakout of the drama-triangle?

Joerg Kuehn · Aug 25, 2021 · 6 Comments

Nearly 10 years ago, while I was still working at P&G, I faced my biggest professional crisis. It made me think and do the impossible. I called in sick, despite being perfectly well physically.

What had happened? I’d become caught in a drama triangle, complete with a persecutor, rescuer, and victim. More on all that in a moment, but first … back to the story.

How are you really doing?

Joerg Kuehn · Apr 28, 2021 · 1 Comment

20 year old Jonny Benjamin was not well. He had been diagnosed with a mental illness which caused him to slide into a severe depression, and, on a cold January morning in 2008, he decided to end his life. Dressed only in a T-Shirt, he walked up to Waterloo bridge in London, stepped over the railing, and was ready to go.

But all of a sudden, a stranger came up and started talking to him: “Hi mate, can you tell me why you’re sitting on the bridge?” Gloomily and hopelessly, Jonny replied he was going to take his own life. But the stranger would not let go and kept talking to him. “Please don’t do this mate. Please don’t do this. Let’s just go for a coffee. Let’s just talk it over.” The stranger kept talking to Jonny in tones full of compassion, kindness, and genuine concern.

The surprising modern insights of an old tradition!

Joerg Kuehn · Dec 22, 2020 · Leave a Comment

The word “Heimat” has a special meaning for me and many people in Germany, as it represents the area where we grew up, with all our personal experiences, memories, values, traditions and people. My Heimat is at the foot of the Erzgebirge (Ore Mountains) in the Eastern part of Germany.

The Erzgebirge is famous for its longstanding mining tradition. In 1168, the first silver ore was found near today’s Freiberg. The mining industry in this area produced silver and iron ore as well as lead, cobalt, nickel, zinc and uranium until the end of the 20th century.

The job of the miners was very hard. Working hours were incredibly long and the work was intensely tough, as they faced life threatening conditions hundreds of metres below the surface.

As winter approached, it got even tougher, as the miners would not see daylight for weeks and months, leaving their homes in darkness in the early morning and returning home after sunset. It is, therefore, understandable that these miners had a natural and strong longing for (day) light as a symbol of life, safety and hope.

How to respond to a deep personal crisis

Joerg Kuehn · May 25, 2020 · Leave a Comment

It was 10th November 2009. A few months ago, Robert Enke had been announced as the top goalkeeper candidate to lead the German team into the Football World Cup 2010.

That morning, Robert said goodbye to his wife and went to his daily training routine at the Hannover Football Club. By late afternoon, his wife Teresa became worried when Robert was not back. She rang him continuously but found his mobile switched off. At 5.15pm, Robert stood in front of a regional express train. Police confirmed the discovery of a suicide note but would not publicise its details.

Robert’s death came as a great shock to the nation and the entire international football community. The question remains – Why would such a successful footballer end his life at the top of his career?

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