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personal development

What is done is finished – “Feierabend”

Joerg Kuehn · May 27, 2021 · Leave a Comment

My favourite Buddhist monk and comedian, Ajahn Brahm, once told the story of a fellow monk, who was overlooking the building of a new hall in his monastery in southern Thailand. The work progressed very well until the beginning of June.  That’s when the rainy season sets in, usually lasting until October. During this time, the monks stop doing their regular work and spend more time in contemplative study and meditation.  It’s often referred to as “Buddhist lent” or “rain-retreat.”

As the daily monsoon downpours began, the abbot ordered a stop to the work on the construction site and sent all the workers home.

It happened that during that rainy season some visitors came to the monastery and saw the unfinished building and the abbot sitting quietly in reflection. With no builders in sight, a visitor asked the monk when the construction of the hall would be finished. The abbot without any hesitation answered, “The Hall is Finished!”

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How are you really doing?

Joerg Kuehn · Apr 28, 2021 · 1 Comment

20 year old Jonny Benjamin was not well.  He had been diagnosed with a mental illness which caused him to slide into a severe depression, and, on a cold January morning in 2008, he decided to end his life. Dressed only in a T-Shirt, he walked up to Waterloo bridge in London, stepped over the railing, and was ready to go.

But all of a sudden, a stranger came up and started talking to him: “Hi mate, can you tell me why you’re sitting on the bridge?”  Gloomily and hopelessly, Jonny replied he was going to take his own life.  But the stranger would not let go and kept talking to him. “Please don’t do this mate.  Please don’t do this.  Let’s just go for a coffee.  Let’s just talk it over.” The stranger kept talking to Jonny in tones full of compassion, kindness, and genuine concern.

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How to break through your glass-ceiling

Joerg Kuehn · Mar 31, 2021 · Leave a Comment

My initial plan was to write about the late Sir Roger Bannister, who many of you may know because of his remarkable achievement in breaking the seemingly impossible 4-minute-barrier for a 1-Mile-Run on 6th of May 1954.

For many years, runners had tried to achieve that in vain, but after Bannister did it, several other runners were able to quickly follow, because the “invincible (psychological) barrier” had been broken.

While an article in the science of running somewhat debunks Bannister’s myth, I strongly believe that in real life we all struggle with this kind of “glass-ceilings” from time-to-time. I want to take a moment here to share my own recent “psychological barrier”, since it might provide you some-food-for-thought on how to break through your own glass ceilings.

As part of my studies with the UK National College for Hypnosis and Psychotherapy, in mid-February, I attended a course on how to support clients struggling with PTSD and traumatic experiences.  Up until the time I took this course, I had studied for two years and had definitely learned new knowledge, tools and therapeutic approaches.  But, if I am being honest, I had not yet felt the internal conviction and confidence to truly put all this psychotherapeutic knowhow to work and make a real difference in my clients lives.

This course changed this and broke my glass ceiling.

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3 wonderful tips for our “groundhog-days”

Joerg Kuehn · Feb 24, 2021 · Leave a Comment

It was the first of February when weatherman Phil Connors, together with his producer Rita and camera man Larry, made their way from Pittsburgh to Punxsutawney, where, on February 2nd, a groundhog named Phil predicts whether spring will come early or winter will continues its icy grip for another 6 weeks.  German speaking immigrants initiated the tradition of groundhog day back in 1887.

Connors makes no secret about his dislike for the trip, as he finds the small town with its narrow-minded people “so uninspiring.” His plan is to get done with the groundhog day report quickly in order to be back in Pittsburgh for the 5pm news. But life has different plans for the obnoxious weather man as he enters an endless loop of waking up day after day at 6.00am to Sonny & Cher’s, “I Got You Babe” … and the same day he lived through the day before … with the same people doing the same things.

That’s how the movie Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell, starts out.

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What are you most looking forward to?

Joerg Kuehn · Jan 26, 2021 · Leave a Comment

On the 5th of December 1914, Ernest Shackleton, together with 27 brave men, left South Georgia in the Southern Atlantic Ocean on a ship with the telling name Endurance.

Their goal was to become the first to cross the Antarctic continent by foot… a gruelling 1,800 miles (2,900 km) journey.

But weather conditions were terrible, and on the 19th of January 1915, the Endurance became frozen in an ice floe, turning Shackleton’s mission of exploration into a mission of desperate survival.

After drifting north in an icy lockdown for 9 long months, the violent movements associated with the breaking of the ice exerted extreme pressures on the ship.

On the 24th of October 1915, water began pouring in, leaving Shackleton no choice but to abandon the Endurance. For another 7 long and freezing months, with temperatures around minus 30 Degree Celsius, the crew camped on large ice floes, hoping to be carried to mainland.

But on the 9th of April, 1916, their ice floe broke into two and Shackleton ordered the crew into the three lifeboats in a desperate attempt to reach the nearest land.  After five harrowing days at sea, the exhausted men landed at Elephant Island, a deserted place far from any shipping routes, giving the men a low chance of rescue by means of discovery. But for the first time in more than 16 months spent in brutal icy lockdowns, they had solid ground under their feet. It must have felt good.

Yet they we far from safe, and so one of the lifeboats was launched on the 24th of April 1916, with Shackleton and another 5 sailors in an attempt to reach the South Georgia whaling station…830 miles (1,330km) away!

The small life boat sailed through the stormy waters of the southern ocean in constant peril of capsizing.

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