determination

What if failure were not an option?

Joerg Kuehn · Jan 27, 2022 · Leave a Comment

Benjamin Zander is a conductor for the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and a professor at the New England Conservatory of Music. For more than 25 years, he faced the same problem.

He noticed most of his new students had this nagging voice in their heads, saying things like, “Oh Lord, this guy must be really good. No way I can be as good as he is. And what if I’m not? What if I’m not very good at all? I’m not sure I can do this!…”

The result? Zander noticed many of them would not reach their top potential.

Why? It wasn’t a lack of effort. They worked frantically, but not from a good mental and emotional place. They stayed in a constant state of anxiety and fear over how their performances might be judged.

There is a crack in everything – for a reason!

Joerg Kuehn · Oct 27, 2021 · Leave a Comment

I recently came across the wonderful story of an old woman who was living by herself many many years ago. Every morning, she went to the river to get fresh water. She took a long pole, hung an old bucket from the left side and another bucket from the right side. Always the same buckets on the same sides of the pole.

The walk down the dirt path from her house wasn’t very long. At the river, she would take the pole with the buckets off her shoulders and carefully dip each bucket in the river, filling it with cold, fresh water. Then, just as carefully, she would place each bucket back on the pole, lift the pole up onto her shoulders, and slowly make her way back.

As she walked home, the right-hand bucket held the water perfectly, whereas the left-hand bucket, had a small crack in the bottom leaking out a persistent drip. By the time the woman reached home, the bucket would be half empty, which happened day after day, week after week, year after year.

Nothing changed… until one day, just as they arrived at the river, the left-hand bucket sighed. This surprised the woman. She had never heard a bucket sigh before.

Then the bucket spoke. “I am so sorry. I am so sorry.”

How to breakout of the drama-triangle?

Joerg Kuehn · Aug 25, 2021 · 6 Comments

Nearly 10 years ago, while I was still working at P&G, I faced my biggest professional crisis. It made me think and do the impossible. I called in sick, despite being perfectly well physically.

What had happened? I’d become caught in a drama triangle, complete with a persecutor, rescuer, and victim. More on all that in a moment, but first … back to the story.

6 magical “resilience-hacks” when life puts you down 1-0

Joerg Kuehn · Jul 28, 2021 · Leave a Comment

It was the highly anticipated 2020 European Championship semi-final between England and Denmark, where 60,000 mainly English fans were hoping their team could make some history by reaching a final of a major tournament for the first time in 55 long years.

In the 30^th minute, the Danish player, Mikkel Damsgaard, put the ball down for a free kick 25 yards outside the English goal. He took a final look at the goal and smashed the ball into the back of the net. Denmark 1 – England 0.

How to break through your glass-ceiling

Joerg Kuehn · Mar 31, 2021 · Leave a Comment

My initial plan was to write about the late Sir Roger Bannister, who many of you may know because of his remarkable achievement in breaking the seemingly impossible 4-minute-barrier for a 1-Mile-Run on 6th of May 1954.

For many years, runners had tried to achieve that in vain, but after Bannister did it, several other runners were able to quickly follow, because the “invincible (psychological) barrier” had been broken.

While an article in the science of running somewhat debunks Bannister’s myth, I strongly believe that in real life we all struggle with this kind of “glass-ceilings” from time-to-time. I want to take a moment here to share my own recent “psychological barrier”, since it might provide you some-food-for-thought on how to break through your own glass ceilings.

As part of my studies with the UK National College for Hypnosis and Psychotherapy, in mid-February, I attended a course on how to support clients struggling with PTSD and traumatic experiences. Up until the time I took this course, I had studied for two years and had definitely learned new knowledge, tools and therapeutic approaches. But, if I am being honest, I had not yet felt the internal conviction and confidence to truly put all this psychotherapeutic knowhow to work and make a real difference in my clients lives.

This course changed this and broke my glass ceiling.

determination

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