determination

Why not quit my job?

Joerg Kuehn · Apr 27, 2022 · 2 Comments

4 1 - Why not quit my job?

It was the 24th of November 2013. I was working as supply chain Director for Procter & Gamble, just about to complete my coach certification with the International Coaching Federation (ICF), and I was totally confused. I knew I had to make a difficult and life-changing decision. Should I become self-employed, moving into coaching, where my passion clearly was?

I was scared and completely lost about what to do. I was constantly making two different lists:

Why I should quit my job!!!
Why I should not quit my job?

I was going nowhere, until I came across the following questionnaire by Tim Ferris. On the evening of November 24, I sat down and put my thoughts on paper in answer to his 5 key questions. I had no idea it would change my life.

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Is it a threat or a challenge to you?

Joerg Kuehn · Feb 22, 2022 · Leave a Comment

2 1 1024x599 - Is it a threat or a challenge to you?

‘‘The test you will take today is designed to help us identify people who are exceptionally weak in their problem-solving reasoning abilities. Your performance on this test will not be scored like most normal tests, but rather will be classified as either above or below a predetermined cut-off score. If you score below that cut-off, this suggests that you are exceptionally weak —in other words, well below average in your problem-solving reasoning abilities. Thus, this test and the scoring method used are designed only to separate those who are especially weak from everyone else.”

This is how Dr. Chalabajev and her team introduced the test to participants of group 1 in their study about how people deal with performance anxiety. Group 2 was introduced differently, with the underlined words replaced as follows: weak by strong and below by above. The intention was to trigger fear in group 1 making participants feeling under threat, by being at risk of getting classified as “especially weak”, whereas help group 2 to identify the test as a challenge where they could potentially be identified as “especially strong” problem solvers with not much else to lose. In scientific terms group 1 was targeted to become “goal-avoidant” and group 2 “goal-approaching.”

The study results* are in my point of view mind boggling:

What if failure were not an option?

Joerg Kuehn · Jan 27, 2022 · Leave a Comment

1 1 - What if failure were not an option?

Benjamin Zander is a conductor for the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and a professor at the New England Conservatory of Music. For more than 25 years, he faced the same problem.

He noticed most of his new students had this nagging voice in their heads, saying things like, “Oh Lord, this guy must be really good. No way I can be as good as he is. And what if I’m not? What if I’m not very good at all? I’m not sure I can do this!…”

The result? Zander noticed many of them would not reach their top potential.

Why? It wasn’t a lack of effort. They worked frantically, but not from a good mental and emotional place. They stayed in a constant state of anxiety and fear over how their performances might be judged.

There is a crack in everything – for a reason!

Joerg Kuehn · Oct 27, 2021 · Leave a Comment

oct1 1024x768 - There is a crack in everything - for a reason!

I recently came across the wonderful story of an old woman who was living by herself many many years ago. Every morning, she went to the river to get fresh water. She took a long pole, hung an old bucket from the left side and another bucket from the right side. Always the same buckets on the same sides of the pole.

The walk down the dirt path from her house wasn’t very long. At the river, she would take the pole with the buckets off her shoulders and carefully dip each bucket in the river, filling it with cold, fresh water. Then, just as carefully, she would place each bucket back on the pole, lift the pole up onto her shoulders, and slowly make her way back.

As she walked home, the right-hand bucket held the water perfectly, whereas the left-hand bucket, had a small crack in the bottom leaking out a persistent drip. By the time the woman reached home, the bucket would be half empty, which happened day after day, week after week, year after year.

Nothing changed… until one day, just as they arrived at the river, the left-hand bucket sighed. This surprised the woman. She had never heard a bucket sigh before.

Then the bucket spoke. “I am so sorry. I am so sorry.”

How to breakout of the drama-triangle?

Joerg Kuehn · Aug 25, 2021 · 6 Comments

aug1 1024x683 - How to breakout of the drama-triangle?

Nearly 10 years ago, while I was still working at P&G, I faced my biggest professional crisis. It made me think and do the impossible. I called in sick, despite being perfectly well physically.

What had happened? I’d become caught in a drama triangle, complete with a persecutor, rescuer, and victim. More on all that in a moment, but first … back to the story.

determination

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