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reaching out

How to manage highly emotional encounters?

Joerg Kuehn · Feb 22, 2023 · 4 Comments

As part of my psychotherapist qualification, I recently worked with a client who struggled with severe anxiety. It was challenging, and it took several sessions for the client to open up about what was going on.

It was about a relationship. A working relationship.

Alice (name & background changed for confidentiality reasons) was leading a small team of consultants in a high-pressure corporate environment. Juggling the demanding requests of her clients and managing her team was tough. But her key struggle was the relationship she suffered through with a senior peer in a supporting function.

Alice described that person as an “aggressive dictator,” who was 10 years older and fighting “tooth and nail” over everything. This made it impossible for Alice to establish a collaborative relationship. She dreaded every encounter with the “dictator.” Several days before their next meeting, she could feel her stomach churn and she would endure sleepless nights.

The meetings were tense. Conversations were difficult… until at one point it came to a head. In front of the whole team, the smouldering conflict between the two leaders exploded. Both started throwing accusations. The “dictator” began to raise her voice and, with cutting, machine-gun like remarks, she systematically dismantled Alice. Feeling embarrassed, incapable, small and stupid, Alice shrank further and further to the point where she could not handle it. Close to tears, she dropped out of the video call. It was a disaster.

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„All you need is …!“

Joerg Kuehn · Jul 28, 2022 · Leave a Comment

On November 16, 2019, I sent an email to family and friends inviting them to celebrate the “half-time of my life” at the end of May, 2020. I could have also called it the “31st anniversary of my 19th birthday,” or simply let them know I would be crossing half the half-century mark. Many had signed up, and in February 2020, the organisation of the event was done.

But sadly, we all know what happened after that. The world went into a stand-still for 2 years. It was impossible to even think about having a party and celebrating with friends. By the end of 2021, I started another attempt at organising the event, and with the world opening, it became more and more likely it could happen in June 2022.

As the big day drew closer, I was quite anxious about how it would go.

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Nobody is an island

Joerg Kuehn · Mar 30, 2022 · Leave a Comment

Quite some time ago I came across the following song by the German songwriter Gerhard Schöne. It takes the form of a parable.

Many years ago, a man arrived at the gateway to heaven. As he had lived a good and humble life, he was pleased to stand outside the glowing gates of heaven, ready to ascend into the light and love of the afterlife. But there was a thought he struggled to let go of.

The gatekeeper, being quite observant, noticed his hesitation and asked the man: “What is bothering you, my friend? You seem troubled. Is there unfinished business?”

“Not really,” said the man. “Everything is sorted just fine down there, but I find myself wondering what hell is like. I never really believed in heaven or hell all my life, but now, I am really wondering what it looks like.”

“You may be surprised.” The Gatekeeper smiled: “As with all great truths, it’s not as simple as you may think, yet also, far simpler. Let me show you.”

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Make someone’s life a little brighter this festive season

Joerg Kuehn · Dec 15, 2021 · Leave a Comment

Abby is 10 years old. She is bravely fighting her very own personal battle against cancer.  She’s being treated at Hasbro’s Children Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island, about 50 miles away from Boston.  Her family, as well as the doctors and nurses, are doing their best to help her through the difficult days of chemotherapy and other treatments.

Abby is strong, but there are moments when the pain and the challenging situation just overwhelm her.  In such moments, she looks forward to 8.30pm, when all the children in the hospital get a special treat.

Several minutes before 8:30pm, they usher up to their windows with flashlights in their little hands, excitingly awaiting the start of the daily routine.

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Even if you think you can manage it – reach out!

Joerg Kuehn · Nov 24, 2021 · Leave a Comment

Our former principal of the National College for Hypnosis and Psychotherapy, Shaun Brookhouse, wasn’t feeling his best in March 2020.  He “didn’t think it was anything in particular.  He just felt a bit unwell.”

Shaun took a week off from work, but things got worse, and people around him started to worry when his breathing became more laboured. One friend eventually insisted on calling an ambulance, and Shaun reluctantly followed through.

From then on, he doesn’t remember anything… until 5 long weeks later, when he was revived from an induced coma, as the doctors tried to bring his respiratory tract back online. It turned out Shaun was one of the first COVID patients.

[Read more…] about Even if you think you can manage it – reach out!

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