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Why You Should Master The #1 Hostage Negotiation Skill

Joerg Kuehn · Sep 29, 2021 · Leave a Comment

sept1 1 - Why You Should Master The #1 Hostage Negotiation Skill

Chris Voss had been with the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force for several years when he became intrigued by the idea of becoming a hostage negotiator. To try his luck, he went to Amy Bonderow, who ran the FBI’s crisis negotiation team in New York at that time.

“I want to be a hostage negotiator,” Voss said.

Amy replied “Well, everyone does. Do you have any training, experience, credentials or a degree in Psychology/Sociology?”

Chris had none of it, but did not give up: “Come on, there must be something I can do?”

How to breakout of the drama-triangle?

Joerg Kuehn · Aug 25, 2021 · 6 Comments

aug1 1024x683 - How to breakout of the drama-triangle?

Nearly 10 years ago, while I was still working at P&G, I faced my biggest professional crisis. It made me think and do the impossible. I called in sick, despite being perfectly well physically.

What had happened? I’d become caught in a drama triangle, complete with a persecutor, rescuer, and victim. More on all that in a moment, but first … back to the story.

6 magical “resilience-hacks” when life puts you down 1-0

Joerg Kuehn · Jul 28, 2021 · Leave a Comment

July1 1024x721 - 6 magical “resilience-hacks” when life puts you down 1-0

It was the highly anticipated 2020 European Championship semi-final between England and Denmark, where 60,000 mainly English fans were hoping their team could make some history by reaching a final of a major tournament for the first time in 55 long years.

In the 30^th minute, the Danish player, Mikkel Damsgaard, put the ball down for a free kick 25 yards outside the English goal. He took a final look at the goal and smashed the ball into the back of the net. Denmark 1 – England 0.

What is done is finished – “Feierabend”

Joerg Kuehn · May 27, 2021 · Leave a Comment

may1 1024x683 - What is done is finished - “Feierabend”

My favourite Buddhist monk and comedian, Ajahn Brahm, once told the story of a fellow monk, who was overlooking the building of a new hall in his monastery in southern Thailand. The work progressed very well until the beginning of June. That’s when the rainy season sets in, usually lasting until October. During this time, the monks stop doing their regular work and spend more time in contemplative study and meditation. It’s often referred to as “Buddhist lent” or “rain-retreat.”

As the daily monsoon downpours began, the abbot ordered a stop to the work on the construction site and sent all the workers home.

It happened that during that rainy season some visitors came to the monastery and saw the unfinished building and the abbot sitting quietly in reflection. With no builders in sight, a visitor asked the monk when the construction of the hall would be finished. The abbot without any hesitation answered, “The Hall is Finished!”

How are you really doing?

Joerg Kuehn · Apr 28, 2021 · 1 Comment

apr1 - How are you really doing?

20 year old Jonny Benjamin was not well. He had been diagnosed with a mental illness which caused him to slide into a severe depression, and, on a cold January morning in 2008, he decided to end his life. Dressed only in a T-Shirt, he walked up to Waterloo bridge in London, stepped over the railing, and was ready to go.

But all of a sudden, a stranger came up and started talking to him: “Hi mate, can you tell me why you’re sitting on the bridge?” Gloomily and hopelessly, Jonny replied he was going to take his own life. But the stranger would not let go and kept talking to him. “Please don’t do this mate. Please don’t do this. Let’s just go for a coffee. Let’s just talk it over.” The stranger kept talking to Jonny in tones full of compassion, kindness, and genuine concern.

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