life goals

Two Yogurts In A Fridge

Joerg Kuehn · May 25, 2022 · 2 Comments

Think of an incident when someone else’s behaviour was so appalling to you, that it triggered a stark emotional reaction. Maybe it was someone acting selfish, rude, greedy, arrogant, mean, inflexible, etc. Anything come to mind?

As part of my psychotherapy studies I came across an interesting psychological concept recently, which taught me an interesting lesson… revealed in two yogurt containers.

The lesson is all about shadows, which, according to Carl Jung, “exist as part of the unconscious mind and are composed of repressed ideas, weaknesses, desires, instincts, and shortcomings.”

This is the darker side of our nature we don’t really want to acknowledge. The shadows contain all the things that are unacceptable to society… and to our own personal morals and values. That’s why we don’t want to acknowledge them!

There is a crack in everything – for a reason!

Joerg Kuehn · Oct 27, 2021 · Leave a Comment

I recently came across the wonderful story of an old woman who was living by herself many many years ago. Every morning, she went to the river to get fresh water. She took a long pole, hung an old bucket from the left side and another bucket from the right side. Always the same buckets on the same sides of the pole.

The walk down the dirt path from her house wasn’t very long. At the river, she would take the pole with the buckets off her shoulders and carefully dip each bucket in the river, filling it with cold, fresh water. Then, just as carefully, she would place each bucket back on the pole, lift the pole up onto her shoulders, and slowly make her way back.

As she walked home, the right-hand bucket held the water perfectly, whereas the left-hand bucket, had a small crack in the bottom leaking out a persistent drip. By the time the woman reached home, the bucket would be half empty, which happened day after day, week after week, year after year.

Nothing changed… until one day, just as they arrived at the river, the left-hand bucket sighed. This surprised the woman. She had never heard a bucket sigh before.

Then the bucket spoke. “I am so sorry. I am so sorry.”

6 magical “resilience-hacks” when life puts you down 1-0

Joerg Kuehn · Jul 28, 2021 · Leave a Comment

It was the highly anticipated 2020 European Championship semi-final between England and Denmark, where 60,000 mainly English fans were hoping their team could make some history by reaching a final of a major tournament for the first time in 55 long years.

In the 30^th minute, the Danish player, Mikkel Damsgaard, put the ball down for a free kick 25 yards outside the English goal. He took a final look at the goal and smashed the ball into the back of the net. Denmark 1 – England 0.

3 wonderful tips for our “groundhog-days”

Joerg Kuehn · Feb 24, 2021 · Leave a Comment

It was the first of February when weatherman Phil Connors, together with his producer Rita and camera man Larry, made their way from Pittsburgh to Punxsutawney, where, on February 2^nd, a groundhog named Phil predicts whether spring will come early or winter will continues its icy grip for another 6 weeks. German speaking immigrants initiated the tradition of groundhog day back in 1887.

Connors makes no secret about his dislike for the trip, as he finds the small town with its narrow-minded people “so uninspiring.” His plan is to get done with the groundhog day report quickly in order to be back in Pittsburgh for the 5pm news. But life has different plans for the obnoxious weather man as he enters an endless loop of waking up day after day at 6.00am to Sonny & Cher’s, “I Got You Babe” … and the same day he lived through the day before … with the same people doing the same things.

That’s how the movie Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell, starts out.

From handcuffs to a dream job – the power of setting boundaries!

Joerg Kuehn · May 25, 2020 · Leave a Comment

It was a Thursday evening in 2010 only a few days after her second daughter was born, when the police knocked on Peggy Chan’s door (name changed for confidentiality reasons). It turned out that her abusive husband had jumped bail and the police were searching for him with a warrant of arrest for Peggy. She was put in handcuffs and brought to the police station. She was released after the interrogation, conditional on her turning up on Monday for the court hearing, where she had to either provide her husband’s whereabouts, which she did not know, or pay a $20k bail fine. Peggy was devastated.

Her only way out was to ask her mother for help, despite not having a good relationship with her. Peggy’s mother agreed to help and saw how her daughter was being handcuffed and put in the docks on Monday. Peggy’s mother paid the $20k fine. After this incident, Peggy filed for divorce and had to move back in with her mother. This was far from easy. Her mother was a tough and strong-willed person and everything had to go her way. On the positive side, her mother pushed Peggy to further her education and so Peggy started a bachelor degree with an Australian university at the end of 2010 whilst working full-time in a customer service job and raising her two children as a single mum.

In 2013, shortly after she had completed her Bachelor degree, Peggy received the devastating news…

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