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dealing with stress

Is it a threat or a challenge to you?

Joerg Kuehn · Feb 22, 2022 · Leave a Comment

‘‘The test you will take today is designed to help us identify people who are exceptionally weak in their problem-solving reasoning abilities. Your performance on this test will not be scored like most normal tests, but rather will be classified as either above or below a predetermined cut-off score. If you score below that cut-off, this suggests that you are exceptionally weak —in other words, well below average in your problem-solving reasoning abilities. Thus, this test and the scoring method used are designed only to separate those who are especially weak from everyone else.”

This is how Dr. Chalabajev and her team introduced the test to participants of group 1 in their study about how people deal with performance anxiety. Group 2 was introduced differently, with the underlined words replaced as follows: weak by strong and below by above. The intention was to trigger fear in group 1 making participants feeling under threat, by being at risk of getting classified as “especially weak”, whereas help group 2 to identify the test as a challenge where they could potentially be identified as “especially strong” problem solvers with not much else to lose. In scientific terms group 1 was targeted to become “goal-avoidant” and group 2 “goal-approaching.”

The study results* are in my point of view mind boggling:

[Read more…] about Is it a threat or a challenge to you?

What if failure were not an option?

Joerg Kuehn · Jan 27, 2022 · Leave a Comment

Benjamin Zander is a conductor for the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and a professor at the New England Conservatory of Music.  For more than 25 years, he faced the same problem.

He noticed most of his new students had this nagging voice in their heads, saying things like, “Oh Lord, this guy must be really good.  No way I can be as good as he is.  And what if I’m not?  What if I’m not very good at all?  I’m not sure I can do this!…”

The result?  Zander noticed many of them would not reach their top potential.

Why?  It wasn’t a lack of effort.  They worked frantically, but not from a good mental and emotional place.  They stayed in a constant state of anxiety and fear over how their performances might be judged.

[Read more…] about What if failure were not an option?

There is a crack in everything – for a reason!

Joerg Kuehn · Oct 27, 2021 · Leave a Comment

I recently came across the wonderful story of an old woman who was living by herself many many years ago.  Every morning, she went to the river to get fresh water.  She took a long pole, hung an old bucket from the left side and another bucket from the right side.  Always the same buckets on the same sides of the pole.

The walk down the dirt path from her house wasn’t very long.  At the river, she would take the pole with the buckets off her shoulders and carefully dip each bucket in the river, filling it with cold, fresh water.  Then, just as carefully, she would place each bucket back on the pole, lift the pole up onto her shoulders, and slowly make her way back.

­As she walked home, the right-hand bucket held the water perfectly, whereas the left-hand bucket, had a small crack in the bottom leaking out a persistent drip.  By the time the woman reached home, the bucket would be half empty, which happened day after day, week after week, year after year.

Nothing changed… until one day, just as they arrived at the river, the left-hand bucket sighed.  This surprised the woman.  She had never heard a bucket sigh before.

Then the bucket spoke. “I am so sorry. I am so sorry.”  

[Read more…] about There is a crack in everything – for a reason!

How to breakout of the drama-triangle?

Joerg Kuehn · Aug 25, 2021 · 6 Comments

Nearly 10 years ago, while I was still working at P&G, I faced my biggest professional crisis.  It made me think and do the impossible.  I called in sick, despite being perfectly well physically.

What had happened?  I’d become caught in a drama triangle, complete with a persecutor, rescuer, and victim.  More on all that in a moment, but first … back to the story.

[Read more…] about How to breakout of the drama-triangle?

6 magical “resilience-hacks” when life puts you down 1-0

Joerg Kuehn · Jul 28, 2021 · Leave a Comment

It was the highly anticipated 2020 European Championship semi-final between England and Denmark, where 60,000 mainly English fans were hoping their team could make some history by reaching a final of a major tournament for the first time in 55 long years.

In the 30th minute, the Danish player, Mikkel Damsgaard, put the ball down for a free kick 25 yards outside the English goal. He took a final look at the goal and smashed the ball into the back of the net.  Denmark 1 – England 0.

[Read more…] about 6 magical “resilience-hacks” when life puts you down 1-0

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