perseverance

Do we carry somebody else’s burden?

Joerg Kuehn · Nov 23, 2022 · 2 Comments

As a coach and psychotherapist-in-training, I sometimes work with clients whose circumstances deeply touch me. Recently, I had one of these cases. I was very much drawn into it. Day and night, I was thinking about ways I could help my client, who was struggling with a very complex personal and professional situation.

As time went on, I noticed I was starting to go way beyond the scope of my role as a coach. I researched various options around how the difficult situation could be resolved and even drafted some potential communication for the client. At one point, I found myself waking up at night, trying to work things out. That’s when I realised, I needed to discuss the case with my supervisor Steve. I’m glad I did, as it taught me a very profound lesson.

Getting things done by “non-doing”!

Joerg Kuehn · Sep 28, 2022 · Leave a Comment

Last September, I started an online course on “psychological research for practicing therapists.” It was supposed to take me no more than 20 hours and teach me “skills and abilities of the social science researcher” as part of my journey towards becoming a Psychotherapist.

I quickly worked through the course materials and passed the test. But then I had to write an essay. When I submitted my essay at the beginning of November, I’d probably spent 30 hours on the course. I thought I was done. But I was clearly not done, and a substantial lesson was to be learned.

The essay grader was happy about the first part, but did not pass the second. I had to provide further depth and added resources to my suggested mock-research project. I was diligent. I spent at least another 20 hours studying, rewriting, and upgrading my essay. I submitted it again at the beginning of January and I thought that was certainly the end of it. But within a few weeks I got the grader’s feedback. Not passed! There were “still some issues with this proposal.”

I’ll spare you the details, but I was frantic. I spent another 20 hours not only revising, but writing, a completely new research proposal. I shared it with my supervisor but his feedback was not very positive..

Now, I was really on edge. I’d spent more than 60 hours on a course which was supposed to take me only 20 hours, and I still did not have a proposal that would get a passing grade. I had enough! I rather angrily put the proposal to the side in complete despair.

Why not quit my job?

Joerg Kuehn · Apr 27, 2022 · 2 Comments

It was the 24th of November 2013. I was working as supply chain Director for Procter & Gamble, just about to complete my coach certification with the International Coaching Federation (ICF), and I was totally confused. I knew I had to make a difficult and life-changing decision. Should I become self-employed, moving into coaching, where my passion clearly was?

I was scared and completely lost about what to do. I was constantly making two different lists:

Why I should quit my job!!!
Why I should not quit my job?

I was going nowhere, until I came across the following questionnaire by Tim Ferris. On the evening of November 24, I sat down and put my thoughts on paper in answer to his 5 key questions. I had no idea it would change my life.

[Read more…] about Why not quit my job?

Is it a threat or a challenge to you?

Joerg Kuehn · Feb 22, 2022 · Leave a Comment

‘‘The test you will take today is designed to help us identify people who are exceptionally weak in their problem-solving reasoning abilities. Your performance on this test will not be scored like most normal tests, but rather will be classified as either above or below a predetermined cut-off score. If you score below that cut-off, this suggests that you are exceptionally weak —in other words, well below average in your problem-solving reasoning abilities. Thus, this test and the scoring method used are designed only to separate those who are especially weak from everyone else.”

This is how Dr. Chalabajev and her team introduced the test to participants of group 1 in their study about how people deal with performance anxiety. Group 2 was introduced differently, with the underlined words replaced as follows: weak by strong and below by above. The intention was to trigger fear in group 1 making participants feeling under threat, by being at risk of getting classified as “especially weak”, whereas help group 2 to identify the test as a challenge where they could potentially be identified as “especially strong” problem solvers with not much else to lose. In scientific terms group 1 was targeted to become “goal-avoidant” and group 2 “goal-approaching.”

The study results* are in my point of view mind boggling:

How to breakout of the drama-triangle?

Joerg Kuehn · Aug 25, 2021 · 6 Comments

Nearly 10 years ago, while I was still working at P&G, I faced my biggest professional crisis. It made me think and do the impossible. I called in sick, despite being perfectly well physically.

What had happened? I’d become caught in a drama triangle, complete with a persecutor, rescuer, and victim. More on all that in a moment, but first … back to the story.

perseverance

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