confidence

Go Your Own Way – but not alone!

Joerg Kuehn · Sep 27, 2023 · 2 Comments

Twelve years ago, my life looked successful and positive from the outside. I had a good job as a senior supply chain director at Procter & Gamble, was paid a handsome salary, and lived in a high-end property overlooking the Singapore skyline. But something was missing. I felt unfulfilled somehow … lost and trapped. After a string of spectacularly failed relationships, with my health not the best, and ‘handcuffed’ to the golden cage of my well-paid job, I found myself in the middle of a classic midlife crisis.

How to manage highly emotional encounters?

Joerg Kuehn · Feb 22, 2023 · 4 Comments

As part of my psychotherapist qualification, I recently worked with a client who struggled with severe anxiety. It was challenging, and it took several sessions for the client to open up about what was going on.

It was about a relationship. A working relationship.

Alice (name & background changed for confidentiality reasons) was leading a small team of consultants in a high-pressure corporate environment. Juggling the demanding requests of her clients and managing her team was tough. But her key struggle was the relationship she suffered through with a senior peer in a supporting function.

Alice described that person as an “aggressive dictator,” who was 10 years older and fighting “tooth and nail” over everything. This made it impossible for Alice to establish a collaborative relationship. She dreaded every encounter with the “dictator.” Several days before their next meeting, she could feel her stomach churn and she would endure sleepless nights.

The meetings were tense. Conversations were difficult… until at one point it came to a head. In front of the whole team, the smouldering conflict between the two leaders exploded. Both started throwing accusations. The “dictator” began to raise her voice and, with cutting, machine-gun like remarks, she systematically dismantled Alice. Feeling embarrassed, incapable, small and stupid, Alice shrank further and further to the point where she could not handle it. Close to tears, she dropped out of the video call. It was a disaster.

What can we learn from the “Phantom of the Open”?

Joerg Kuehn · Jan 25, 2023 · Leave a Comment

Maurice Flitcroft was a crane operator working at a shipyard in North-East England. He was 44 years old in October 1974 when he did something ordinary. He watched a golf tournament. Nobody knew that watching that tournament that afternoon in front of his brand-new color-tv would be a life-changing event. It was the day when Maurice decided to become a golfer… one who would write history.

Are You Ready for your Forrest-Gump-Challenge?

Joerg Kuehn · Jun 13, 2022 · Leave a Comment

It was the 9^th of June 2013 when I came down with a really high fever that forced me to stay in bed for several days. Looking back at how I was pushing myself, it is surprising that this had not happened earlier.

In my highly demanding “day-job,” I was managing the Asia Supply-Chain of Procter & Gamble’s complex skin care business whilst attending online classes for my coaching certification at odd times such as 5am or 11pm. The coaching qualification also meant substantial homework combined with the requirement to clock more than 100 coaching hours.

Trying to juggle it all, my body said: “Stop”.

As I was sharing the “breakdown” experience with my mentor coach, she listened attentively and then asked whether she could give me a challenge.

I took a deep sigh, expecting another item to be added to my lengthy To-Do-List and said, “yes”.

“Do you know the movie Forrest Gump?”

Two Yogurts In A Fridge

Joerg Kuehn · May 25, 2022 · 2 Comments

Think of an incident when someone else’s behaviour was so appalling to you, that it triggered a stark emotional reaction. Maybe it was someone acting selfish, rude, greedy, arrogant, mean, inflexible, etc. Anything come to mind?

As part of my psychotherapy studies I came across an interesting psychological concept recently, which taught me an interesting lesson… revealed in two yogurt containers.

The lesson is all about shadows, which, according to Carl Jung, “exist as part of the unconscious mind and are composed of repressed ideas, weaknesses, desires, instincts, and shortcomings.”

This is the darker side of our nature we don’t really want to acknowledge. The shadows contain all the things that are unacceptable to society… and to our own personal morals and values. That’s why we don’t want to acknowledge them!

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