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From handcuffs to a dream job – the power of setting boundaries!

Joerg Kuehn · May 25, 2020 · Leave a Comment

It was a Thursday evening in 2010 only a few days after her second daughter was born, when the police knocked on Peggy Chan’s door (name changed for confidentiality reasons). It turned out that her abusive husband had jumped bail and the police were searching for him with a warrant of arrest for Peggy. She was put in handcuffs and brought to the police station. She was released after the interrogation, conditional on her turning up on Monday for the court hearing, where she had to either provide her husband’s whereabouts, which she did not know, or pay a $20k bail fine. Peggy was devastated.

Her only way out was to ask her mother for help, despite not having a good relationship with her. Peggy’s mother agreed to help and saw how her daughter was being handcuffed and put in the docks on Monday. Peggy’s mother paid the $20k fine. After this incident, Peggy filed for divorce and had to move back in with her mother. This was far from easy. Her mother was a tough and strong-willed person and everything had to go her way. On the positive side, her mother pushed Peggy to further her education and so Peggy started a bachelor degree with an Australian university at the end of 2010 whilst working full-time in a customer service job and raising her two children as a single mum.

In 2013, shortly after she had completed her Bachelor degree, Peggy received the devastating news…

How to respond to a deep personal crisis

Joerg Kuehn · May 25, 2020 · Leave a Comment

It was 10th November 2009. A few months ago, Robert Enke had been announced as the top goalkeeper candidate to lead the German team into the Football World Cup 2010.

That morning, Robert said goodbye to his wife and went to his daily training routine at the Hannover Football Club. By late afternoon, his wife Teresa became worried when Robert was not back. She rang him continuously but found his mobile switched off. At 5.15pm, Robert stood in front of a regional express train. Police confirmed the discovery of a suicide note but would not publicise its details.

Robert’s death came as a great shock to the nation and the entire international football community. The question remains – Why would such a successful footballer end his life at the top of his career?

Dream of changing your life?

Joerg Kuehn · May 25, 2020 · Leave a Comment

Due to confidentiality reasons, names and backgrounds in this story have been changed.

It was February 2015 when Marie emailed me asking whether I would consider coaching her husband, Peter. Peter is a successful civil engineer, who has been thriving in his career across 8 different countries over the last 18 years. He is now working with a very well-known multinational company.

One would think the story of Peter’s life is a typical definition of success – he has the money, he travels worldwide for work, and he has earned his professional respect. But during our complimentary session, Peter, a man in his 40s, confessed:

“I admit, I am very good at my profession, and I have worked hard to achieve all I have thus far. However, what I do is not my chosen path, and I’m frustrated because I don’t even like what I am doing. It doesn’t give me satisfaction but a never-ending stream of regret at my hopelessness. But I don’t know how to move forward or change. Among the fears that inhibit me, there is one that torments me the most – that I will still be doing the same thing in the next 10-15 years.”

What do we really need?

Joerg Kuehn · Apr 29, 2020 · Leave a Comment

Eight years ago, when packing my bag for that daunting Camino De Santiago walk, the weight quickly added up to more than 20kg. I had no idea what it would mean to carry 20kg over a distance of 800km. Fortunately, a good friend of mine helped me reduce it to the absolutely essentials, weighing 10kg.

As you can see from the picture above, I got it down to 3 T-shirts + 2 shirts, 3 undies, 3 pairs of socks, and 2 pairs of walking pants + a jacket. Combine this with a tube of travel-detergent and a few personal items, and that was all I took. What you see proved to be sufficient for a 4 weeks pilgrimage, during which I honestly did not really want for anything. The big lesson I learned was which material things are truly essential.

What do we really need? Not that much.

As we are all more or less confined at home at the moment, I thought why not apply this lesson to “life in lockdown?” We have some time to reflect on what needs to go in our backpack for day to day living during the crisis. After all, there are a lot of things we can’t do or have that we are used to doing and having. So, let’s look at what’s really essential?

Self-Leadership Lessons of a 800km Walk

Joerg Kuehn · Apr 28, 2020 · Leave a Comment

Daniel Goleman’s quote “Exceptional leaders distinguish themselves because of superior self-leadership” inspired me to share some self-leadership lessons that I learned during an 800km walk.

Nearly 8 years ago I asked my manager at P&G whether I could take 4 weeks off to “take a walk”. Initially he said “no” but eventually gave me the green light. I had worked in supply chain management for 17 years and it was the first time I took 4 weeks off.

I wanted to walk the Camino De Santiago, a more than 1,000 years old pilgrimage in Northern Spain. People walk the “Camino” (The Way) to pay their respect to the Apostle St. James, but also to find new direction and hope in their lives. Before walking those 800 kilometres, I had no idea what a huge impact it would have on my life. Two years later I quit my job and started a new career and life as an Executive Coach. Looking back, I realized that the experiences I had on the Camino gave me the courage to take this step. I am glad to be able to share some of the 5 (sometimes hard) lessons I learned.

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