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How to support someone in a really difficult place?

Joerg Kuehn · Apr 26, 2023 · 2 Comments

I had started to collect my 450 client-therapy hours towards becoming a UKCP registered Psychotherapist. It was tough, as I was exposed to psychological and personal challenges I was absolutely not used to as a Coach.

I was trying my best, but something wasn’t working. Some clients came for a few sessions, then abruptly stopped. That was hard to take emotionally, and I began to question my ability to support psychotherapeutic clients.

As I was talking the cases through with my supervisor Steve, he leaned back, looked at me, and asked if I knew the story of the wind and the sun. I did not. It’s quite profound.

“The wind and the sun were talking one day as they observed a man sitting on a bench. It was rather cold, so the man was dressed in a scarf and a coat. Out of the blue, the wind suggested a little challenge to the sun. The wind said, “I’ll bet I can blow that man’s coat off.”  The sun scoffed. “I’ll take that bet and I raise it. You can’t do it … but I can.” 

“You?” said the wind.  “What power do you have?  No way.”  And so, the contest was on.

The wind began to blow in chilly winds from the north. The man tugged his coat up tighter around his neck. So, the wind kicked up the intensity of the wind speed a few notches. As the wind blew stronger and stronger, the man struggled to sit upright on the bench. The more powerfully the wind blew, the tighter the man wrapped his scarf and coat around himself. Now, the wind was blowing at full force and it was freezing cold. The man, gripping the bench with both hands, pulled his knees up and huddled in a kind of ball in a desperate attempt to keep from freezing. No way to take of his coat! The Wind had failed.

Now it was the sun’s turn.

[Read more…] about How to support someone in a really difficult place?

What does life expect from you?

Joerg Kuehn · Mar 29, 2023 · Leave a Comment

Nine months after he had married his wife in 1942, the Austrian psychiatrist Victor Frankl and his family were captured by the Nazis and transported to the Theresienstadt Ghetto – a waystation en route to the extermination camps. They were forced to abort their unborn child, and Frankl’s father died only months later of starvation and pneumonia.

In 1944, together with his wife and 1,500 other inmates, Frankl was placed on a train. They assumed they’d be transported to one of the Nazi armament factories to be used as forced labour. After days cooped up in the windowless wagon, one of the inmates glanced at a signpost outside. What he read out made the desperate passengers shiver with fear. “Auschwitz!,” he screamed in disbelief.

Separated from his wife upon arrival, Frankl was a man without any connection to his former life.

[Read more…] about What does life expect from you?

Don’t “Mind The Gap”… Bridge The Gap!

Joerg Kuehn · Oct 26, 2022 · Leave a Comment

It was on the first of November 2012, nearly 10 years ago, when Margaret McCollum was on her regular journey home via the London Underground subway system. As usual, she stopped at embankment station. Standing on the platform, she was listening for something very specific. It didn’t come. She was shocked and later described the moment as being “horrifying and completely, utterly devastating.”

What about not hearing a particular sound had been so distressing?

[Read more…] about Don’t “Mind The Gap”… Bridge The Gap!

Even if you think you can manage it – reach out!

Joerg Kuehn · Nov 24, 2021 · Leave a Comment

Our former principal of the National College for Hypnosis and Psychotherapy, Shaun Brookhouse, wasn’t feeling his best in March 2020.  He “didn’t think it was anything in particular.  He just felt a bit unwell.”

Shaun took a week off from work, but things got worse, and people around him started to worry when his breathing became more laboured. One friend eventually insisted on calling an ambulance, and Shaun reluctantly followed through.

From then on, he doesn’t remember anything… until 5 long weeks later, when he was revived from an induced coma, as the doctors tried to bring his respiratory tract back online. It turned out Shaun was one of the first COVID patients.

[Read more…] about Even if you think you can manage it – reach out!

How to respond to a deep personal crisis

Joerg Kuehn · May 25, 2020 · Leave a Comment

It was 10th November 2009. A few months ago, Robert Enke had been announced as the top goalkeeper candidate to lead the German team into the Football World Cup 2010.

That morning, Robert said goodbye to his wife and went to his daily training routine at the Hannover Football Club. By late afternoon, his wife Teresa became worried when Robert was not back. She rang him continuously but found his mobile switched off. At 5.15pm, Robert stood in front of a regional express train. Police confirmed the discovery of a suicide note but would not publicise its details.

Robert’s death came as a great shock to the nation and the entire international football community. The question remains – Why would such a successful footballer end his life at the top of his career?

[Read more…] about How to respond to a deep personal crisis

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