dealing with stress

Exactly a decade ago, in April 2014, I took the leap and founded my coaching company in Singapore. Fuelled by enthusiasm and exhibiting perhaps a good portion of naivety, I began the journey of self-employment. As I celebrate the milestone of being in business for 10 years, I’ve taken a moment to reflect on 5 lessons I’ve learned.

1. “Vitamin E” and “Vitamin F”

My journey as a self-employed coach nearly stopped before it even started after my employment pass (EP) application was rejected twice in Singapore. Suddenly, I was a tourist in a place I had called home for nine years. The Ministry of Manpower (MOM) required actual coaching contracts to verify my commitment.

Thankfully, with the help of an EP expert and the support from my football family, I secured some initial contracts and obtained my EP. However, my assumption was that now that the shop was open, clients would flock to me en masse was completely wrong. Nobody was waiting outside my door. So, I invested in an expert business coach, Denise Hedges. Her emphasis on leveraging personal networks, forming strategic alliances, and public speaking would become instrumental in building my practice step by step.

With Denise’s help, I made some challenging asks and I am happy to say that during the toughest times it was my football network that came to the rescue. Their recommendations and support went beyond my expectations, enabling me to get started as a coach. And that support has not stopped since. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Khun Rob, Air-Plane-Roland, Warm-Water-Roland, Denis, Markus D., Katze Klaus, Tommy, Nocki, Madse, Christian, and many more.

Vitamin F (Football network) and Vitamin E (Experts) have been crucial. That fact was reaffirmed recently when we got together to celebrate the invaluable support all these experts gave me during the writing and publishing of my book.

2. Do it like Paul Smith

My second learning is closely related to life-advice offered by successful British fashion designer, Paul Smith. At the start Paul did not have the cash to get the business off the ground, so he made the strategic decision to work from Monday to Thursday to make money in areas he had existing experience and knowledge. During the other 3 days, he would focus on developing his fashion business with the funds earned earlier in the week. The rest is history, as he built a successful world-wide fashion brand.

When looking back at my self-employment journey I realise that I am earning my base income as a consultant using skills which I had learned during my time in supply chain management in Procter & Gamble. I always felt that I should separate myself from my consulting past and focus 100% on coaching. But the truth is the time spent consulting has not only become an established practice I enjoy and which “pays the bills.” It also helps me become a better coach, because as a consultant, I get to “walk in my clients’ shoes,” feeling the heat and pressure their work brings.

3. Know thy why … being a gardener

The German word for self-employed is “selbstständig,” consisting of the 2 phrases … “selbst” (self) & “ständig” (constantly), meaning one could / should work constantly. Yes, I certainly experienced the trap of always going on to the next thing that needs to be done, leaving myself little or no chance to rest. It’s been tough, and on several occasions, I came close to burn out.

During the most difficult times, it was crucial to remind myself of my “why.” Why did I want to operate my own business? My why is based on the following quote: “If you want to be happy for one hour, get drunk; if you want to be happy for a week, get married; if you want to be happy for ever, get a garden.” Pondering this quote, I had a remarkable visualisation and epiphany, because working with coaching clients is like supporting flowers in a garden. Instead of plants, I work with “human flowers,” supporting them, caring for them, and nurturing them.

Doing this work, I could be happy forever. To this day, this realisation gives me the reason to get up every morning. I work in my garden and see which human flower needs a bit of “watering” or “care” to help them bloom or get through a challenging dry spell.

4. Get your cheerleaders!

Being self-employed can be a very lonely endeavour, even though, as a coach I speak to lots of people every day. In hindsight, I realise it was crucial for me to have a group of cheerleaders … people who are there in the tough times with a word of support, reassuring me that things will be alright. I’m lucky to be able to think out loud with some close friends and my supervisor Steve. And yet, we all need support on the home front, and, on that score, I am happy to say that my wife Anne is my biggest cheerleader, helping me through the toughest of times.

With all this support. I am proud to look back at 10 amazing years full of learning, growth, and challenges, but also making a difference in the world.

Sure, the going was rough at times, but my fifth learning is that it definitely was all worth it and with this I am very much looking forward to the next decade of “gardening human flowers.”