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Sieben Lektionen vom Schreiben eines Buches

Joerg Kuehn · Dec 13, 2023 · Leave a Comment

Im Dezember vor zwei Jahren klang alles so wunderbar einfach. Ich kombiniere 60 bereits bestehende Newsletter zu einem kleinen Buch und bringe das dann auf Englisch und Deutsch heraus. Das war die Idee. Heute kann ich sagen: Ich hatte keinen Schimmer, was wirklich nötig ist, um diesen Plan erfolgreich umzusetzen. Nun sind beide Bücher aber trotzdem veröffentlicht und so dachte ich, es wäre ein guter Zeitpunkt, einen Schritt zurückzutreten, um darüber nachzudenken, was ich auf dieser besonderen Reise gelernt habe. Hier sind meine sieben wichtigsten Erkenntnisse:

1. Höre auf deine innere Stimme und kenne das WARUM!

Am Anfang hatte ich nur ein paar Gedanken und – sagen wir – ein vages Gefühl darüber, was ich eigentlich schreiben wollte. Weil der erste Satz immer der schwerste und der schlüssige Aufbau das überhaupt kniffligste am Schreiben eines Buches ist, sagte mir eine innere Stimme, ich sollte erstmal kleine „visuelle Spickzettel“ erstellen (s. nächstes Bild). Die begann ich dann Schritt für Schritt zu ordnen, bis irgendwann eine Art Erzählfluss entstand, mit dem ich mich gut fühlte.

Also begann ich Anfang 2022 mit dem eigentlichen Schreiben und machte schnell gute Fortschritte. Nach und nach wurde mir dabei auch klar, warum ich überhaupt an den Büchern arbeitete. Ich sah mich beim Schreiben auf einer persönlichen Zeitreise, auf der ich noch einmal den Zeitraum der letzten zwölf Jahre Revue passieren ließ. Mir wurde dabei bewusst, wie viel sich in meinem Leben geändert hatte und damit wurde der Schreibprozess zu einer Art „Dankbarkeits-Therapie“. Ich verstand, dass mein WARUM nicht darin bestand, ein Buch für die New York Times-Bestsellerliste zu schreiben. Mein WARUM war vielmehr, meinen Lebensweg zu dokumentieren, die gemachten Erkenntnisse festzuhalten und den vielen guten Menschen zu danken, die mich dabei unterstützt hatten. Mir über das WARUM im Klaren zu sein, war später im Prozess eine sehr große Hilfe. Mehr dazu weiter unten.

The Power Of Creative Problem-Solving

Joerg Kuehn · Jul 26, 2023 · Leave a Comment

It’s 1.30pm on March 30th, 1983 when Holger Bethke and his friend Michael Becker arrive at a particular corner in Schmollerstraße in East Berlin. The house they are looking for is right beside the “death strip” … the area surrounding the Berlin wall (s.above).

Disguised as craftsmen in blue work suits, they carefully open the locked doors with a picklock, making as little noise as possible. Once they are in, they hide in the attic for nearly twelve hours, eating sandwiches, drinking schnapps, and smoking cigarettes. Their plan to escape across the Berlin-Wall is highly risky, daring and dangerous. But, if it works, it is also a compelling tale of innovation … pure genius really.

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How to support someone in a really difficult place?

Joerg Kuehn · Apr 26, 2023 · 2 Comments

I had started to collect my 450 client-therapy hours towards becoming a UKCP registered Psychotherapist. It was tough, as I was exposed to psychological and personal challenges I was absolutely not used to as a Coach.

I was trying my best, but something wasn’t working. Some clients came for a few sessions, then abruptly stopped. That was hard to take emotionally, and I began to question my ability to support psychotherapeutic clients.

As I was talking the cases through with my supervisor Steve, he leaned back, looked at me, and asked if I knew the story of the wind and the sun. I did not. It’s quite profound.

“The wind and the sun were talking one day as they observed a man sitting on a bench. It was rather cold, so the man was dressed in a scarf and a coat. Out of the blue, the wind suggested a little challenge to the sun. The wind said, “I’ll bet I can blow that man’s coat off.” The sun scoffed. “I’ll take that bet and I raise it. You can’t do it … but I can.”

“You?” said the wind. “What power do you have? No way.” And so, the contest was on.

The wind began to blow in chilly winds from the north. The man tugged his coat up tighter around his neck. So, the wind kicked up the intensity of the wind speed a few notches. As the wind blew stronger and stronger, the man struggled to sit upright on the bench. The more powerfully the wind blew, the tighter the man wrapped his scarf and coat around himself. Now, the wind was blowing at full force and it was freezing cold. The man, gripping the bench with both hands, pulled his knees up and huddled in a kind of ball in a desperate attempt to keep from freezing. No way to take of his coat! The Wind had failed.

Now it was the sun’s turn.

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What does life expect from you?

Joerg Kuehn · Mar 29, 2023 · Leave a Comment

Nine months after he had married his wife in 1942, the Austrian psychiatrist Victor Frankl and his family were captured by the Nazis and transported to the Theresienstadt Ghetto – a waystation en route to the extermination camps. They were forced to abort their unborn child, and Frankl’s father died only months later of starvation and pneumonia.

In 1944, together with his wife and 1,500 other inmates, Frankl was placed on a train. They assumed they’d be transported to one of the Nazi armament factories to be used as forced labour. After days cooped up in the windowless wagon, one of the inmates glanced at a signpost outside. What he read out made the desperate passengers shiver with fear. “Auschwitz!,” he screamed in disbelief.

Separated from his wife upon arrival, Frankl was a man without any connection to his former life.

How to manage highly emotional encounters?

Joerg Kuehn · Feb 22, 2023 · 4 Comments

As part of my psychotherapist qualification, I recently worked with a client who struggled with severe anxiety. It was challenging, and it took several sessions for the client to open up about what was going on.

It was about a relationship. A working relationship.

Alice (name & background changed for confidentiality reasons) was leading a small team of consultants in a high-pressure corporate environment. Juggling the demanding requests of her clients and managing her team was tough. But her key struggle was the relationship she suffered through with a senior peer in a supporting function.

Alice described that person as an “aggressive dictator,” who was 10 years older and fighting “tooth and nail” over everything. This made it impossible for Alice to establish a collaborative relationship. She dreaded every encounter with the “dictator.” Several days before their next meeting, she could feel her stomach churn and she would endure sleepless nights.

The meetings were tense. Conversations were difficult… until at one point it came to a head. In front of the whole team, the smouldering conflict between the two leaders exploded. Both started throwing accusations. The “dictator” began to raise her voice and, with cutting, machine-gun like remarks, she systematically dismantled Alice. Feeling embarrassed, incapable, small and stupid, Alice shrank further and further to the point where she could not handle it. Close to tears, she dropped out of the video call. It was a disaster.

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